Comments on: Lonely? Adopt a Middle Aged Daughter

By: Miriam

Miriam — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 16:20:42 +0000

I think it would be okward to adopt someone almost as old as you. But I do like this post. Very interesting. I disagree with China’s One Child Policy. It is a violation of human rights.

By: seha

seha — Wed, 28 May 2008 13:54:31 +0000

i would like to have kind elderly parents any nationality to adopt me.I am simple smiling empathetic and a good listener and craving for parental affection and attention.m middleaged but very childlike and naughty

By: Andria Greenlee

Andria Greenlee — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 22:38:48 +0000

I just read Amy’s post on “Too Many Men in China” and there are some interesting differences in viewpoints on girls vs boys in China. The article on Amy’s post suggests that the Chinese typically see men as more desirable offspring than women. This article is an interesting compliment as it highlights a completely different portion of Chinese society, the elderly. We don’t hear much about the older, retired folks in China, as the massive business development stories seem to overshadow other cultural elements. This group represents a large chunk of the Chinese population that need a younger person to help take care of them. Many women are happy to provide companionship and assistance to others out of the goodness of their hearts, one could argue that this presents a potential business opportunity. Because Chinese view nursing homes as shameful, I could see many Chinese women (and men!) making a good living taking care of these senior citizens in the comfort of their own homes.

Regardless, Andrew and Amy have both raised very interesting points about the gender gap in China.

By: Adam WIndham

Adam WIndham — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 00:55:52 +0000

Interesting idea. Although, I’m curious what the young adults who are being “adopted” get out of this deal? I can understand where the parents are coming from; they want someone who will spend time with them in their old age. Also these couples have said that they don’t need anyone to take care of them so I’m assuming that these adopted children aren’t written into the will or anything. Are the young adults simply content to have a “parental” presence in their life that they would go spend their weekend with complete strangers (in the beginning)? Or is it some form of guilt they feel since they are unable to perform their duties as a child (visiting parents, taking care of them, etc.) because they live so far away that they are compelled to perform them for someone? Or maybe they’re like anyone that leaves the nest and sets of on their own and just long for a home cooked meal from time to time.

By: Chris Kirk

Chris Kirk — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 23:35:49 +0000

Very interesting post. The idea of adopting younger “daughters” is something that I would have never thought about. The fact that many children from families are moving out of the country to find jobs and are leaving their parents behind comes with the territory so to speak. As China has begun to expand, more quality college graduates are entering the world market for jobs and are willing to change countries and continents. This phenomenon has put pressure on the typical family traditions of the Chinese. I think this can be observed in any developing country or economy - as students are prepared for work, they will go to wherever their work is needed. There have been a few posts that have talked about more students leaving the country for work and some posts about how more students are staying in China to help “make China great again”. I am interested to see if this trend stays the course over the next few years or if the ideals of the Chinese family weathers the storm.

By: Sarah Ybarra

Sarah Ybarra — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 20:48:16 +0000

It is an unfortunate experience for parents when their children move out of the country. It is fortunate that these lonely couples are able to “adopt” daughters. Naturally I agree with the statement the article makes about girls being more thoughtful, loyal and better caregivers. However, I think that respect for elders is still engrained in Chinese culture for both men and women. Parents are continuing to be honored but in a more modern way. Times have changed and the composition of the modern Chinese family has been altered causing people to grow up being more individualistic. This change to single child families also makes the responsibility fall on to one individual rather than splitting it between several. This may give the impression that parents are not being taken care of by their children. My dad is one of eight so there is always someone present to care for his parents. If a similar rule had taken place here, and there was only one person to take care of his parents, no matter how loyal or dedicated they were, they could not possibly provide the care that the eight combined provide.

By: Jesse Dundon

Jesse Dundon — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 07:33:54 +0000

Great post. Its a very interesting phenomenon, and makes you wonder if the party really thought about the long term ramifications of the one child rule.

Do you really blame the sons for leaving, and is it really that bad? In times of change, the young adults are going to be the pioneers, the ones traveling West (or in the case of China, East), the ones crossing the Atlantic, etc… So when an opportunity arises to create a better life, sometimes one just needs to move on. If the whole country still followed the idea of filial piety to a T, the country would not be progressing as rapidly as it is. So in answer to your question, I would say that the young adults are honoring their parents in a modern way, and that is by seeking, and hopefully finding, a better life for future generations.