Remembering My Diverse Friendships To Help Me Open Up In China And India
Submitted by: Victoria Rodriguez
I am not an internationally cultured person. Not that I have not wanted to travel and explore other cultures, because I do. I am culturally Heinz-57 - a mix of Chicana, Caucasian-American and a little Native American (I wish there was more). Maybe, because I am of mixed race and culture, I have many friends who were also mixed. Because I do not identify with only one part of my make-up, I more easily identify with similar people. With that said, I am nervous about traveling to a world so different from my own, so it made me think of my great friendships along the way.
When I visited my friends’ home, I always felt responsible to respect their values and rules. I truly enjoyed visiting friends’ homes where there was such tradition engrained in their daily life. For instance, two of my best friends through grade school and high school were two sisters who were a mix of Caucasian and Vietnamese. They primarily lived with their Vietnamese mother and stepfather.
I learned so much from their family, and those experiences stay with me to this day. I learned that when you visit a Vietnamese home, you are to greet everyone - family and visitors. So when I visited my friends, I did not walk into their house and immediately hang out with them; instead I said hello to their mom, stepdad and anyone else visiting. This is sometimes difficult to translate to my Caucasian friends who visit me because I ask them to say hello to my family first, but they do not quite understand why and some are uncomfortable to do so.
My friends also had to ask their parents a few days ahead of time if they wanted to do something like going to the movies, mall, beach, etc. At the time, I thought their parents were very strict, but looking back they and I needed that structure. I craved that kind of structure, tradition and connection to heritage; so with them, I got a close substitute.
Hierarchy is also important in the Vietnamese culture. Respect and politeness in my family, is of high importance especially when it comes to treating elderly people with respect. But, my friends also had to obey their older siblings because the siblings were older.
I hung out at my Vietnamese friend’s house so much that their mom invited me on trips, let me drive their car on trips, and I even helped with their chores. My friend’s parents feed me so much, that I would sometimes make the daily pot of rice. They opened my palette to a different cuisine, so to this day, I love food especially trying different food; although, I never tried the duck’s blood dish. Overall, my friends’ family opened up themselves to me, and I’ll always be grateful for their generosity.
Growing up in Santa Maria was like living in a box - back then it had a much smaller population with primarily only retirees and families who will lived and died in Santa Maria. So I was fortunate to have a diverse group of friends, and this encouraged me to be curious about others and to respect their ways of life. I would encourage everyone to be curious about your neighbors because the U.S.A. is really a melting pot of cultures. Next, I hope this engagement with people of different cultures translates to wanting to travel abroad on the Chindia trip and beyond.
4 comments January 30th, 2009