Remembering My Diverse Friendships To Help Me Open Up In China And India
January 30th, 2009
Submitted by: Victoria Rodriguez
I am not an internationally cultured person. Not that I have not wanted to travel and explore other cultures, because I do. I am culturally Heinz-57 - a mix of Chicana, Caucasian-American and a little Native American (I wish there was more). Maybe, because I am of mixed race and culture, I have many friends who were also mixed. Because I do not identify with only one part of my make-up, I more easily identify with similar people. With that said, I am nervous about traveling to a world so different from my own, so it made me think of my great friendships along the way.
When I visited my friends’ home, I always felt responsible to respect their values and rules. I truly enjoyed visiting friends’ homes where there was such tradition engrained in their daily life. For instance, two of my best friends through grade school and high school were two sisters who were a mix of Caucasian and Vietnamese. They primarily lived with their Vietnamese mother and stepfather.
I learned so much from their family, and those experiences stay with me to this day. I learned that when you visit a Vietnamese home, you are to greet everyone - family and visitors. So when I visited my friends, I did not walk into their house and immediately hang out with them; instead I said hello to their mom, stepdad and anyone else visiting. This is sometimes difficult to translate to my Caucasian friends who visit me because I ask them to say hello to my family first, but they do not quite understand why and some are uncomfortable to do so.
My friends also had to ask their parents a few days ahead of time if they wanted to do something like going to the movies, mall, beach, etc. At the time, I thought their parents were very strict, but looking back they and I needed that structure. I craved that kind of structure, tradition and connection to heritage; so with them, I got a close substitute.
Hierarchy is also important in the Vietnamese culture. Respect and politeness in my family, is of high importance especially when it comes to treating elderly people with respect. But, my friends also had to obey their older siblings because the siblings were older.
I hung out at my Vietnamese friend’s house so much that their mom invited me on trips, let me drive their car on trips, and I even helped with their chores. My friend’s parents feed me so much, that I would sometimes make the daily pot of rice. They opened my palette to a different cuisine, so to this day, I love food especially trying different food; although, I never tried the duck’s blood dish. Overall, my friends’ family opened up themselves to me, and I’ll always be grateful for their generosity.
Growing up in Santa Maria was like living in a box - back then it had a much smaller population with primarily only retirees and families who will lived and died in Santa Maria. So I was fortunate to have a diverse group of friends, and this encouraged me to be curious about others and to respect their ways of life. I would encourage everyone to be curious about your neighbors because the U.S.A. is really a melting pot of cultures. Next, I hope this engagement with people of different cultures translates to wanting to travel abroad on the Chindia trip and beyond.
Entry Filed under: Pre-Departure, China, India
4 Comments Add your own
1. Cece Reyes | January 30th, 2009 at 9:29 pm
Interesting that you mention diverse friendships and growing up in Santa Maria since that is how I remember growing up there as well “back then”. I was friendly with everybody in High School and although I had other friends “like me”, I also had friends of every ethnicity. It had never really occurred to me that the variety of friends I had was anything other than normal, not until I went to Stanford. My freshman year, we had a large group of friends that was clearly divided in half. The half I was part of was all ethnic (a variety), except for our Caucasian friend who was born in Turkey. The other half was ALL Caucasian. I think somewhere late in the year we realized that this split existed even though we were all friends.
Fortunately, I have had the opportunity to travel in Africa, Europe, Central and South America several times over the past 15 years, and my eyes have absolutely been opened and I love experiencing different cultures. In Zimbabwe and Malawi, I was an oddity, in Central and South America I fit in a bit more, but I stand out as soon as I speak. My best friend is mixed and kind of exotic looking, and she traveled with me to Costa Rica once. It was a very interesting experience for me because of the attention she received when we were just walking through town.
As a traveler, I most enjoy traveling when I can stay with local people so that I have time to enjoy the local culture and traditions. My brother-in-law is from Peru and he has family in Costa Rica, so I have been able to spend time with them and see what everyday life is like - in addition to enjoying the beaches.
For me, the fact that San Luis Obispo is less diverse that a lot of places, including Santa Maria, is strange for me since I am so accustomed to being around diversity. There is no better reason to travel than to be open to whatever you may find along the way be it people, food, sights or one-of-a-kind experiences.
2. Chris Carr | February 2nd, 2009 at 8:01 am
Thoughtful post. I enjoyed reading it.
Sounds like you have a strong and unique foundation to allow you to quickly adapt and not get overly whigged out by what you will see in Chindia, particularly the poverty in India — the largest democracy via population in the world, by the way, and the pollution in China. Same re: the very different cuisines of both places.
3. Scotty Hayes | February 3rd, 2009 at 8:48 am
I strongly believe that the more individuals can learn about other cultures the better the world will become. Many times when people fear or dislike another person it is simply because they do not know them or their culture. I also grew up in a small town, where I was not exposed to a lot of different cultures. However, I have always made it a point to not judge a book by it’s cover. I attribute that to great parenting.
Cultural awareness allows me to better understand myself and the world around me. Business is greatly influenced by culture. A crucial learning experience in our studies and in our trip itself is the Chinese and Indian ways of life.
4. Oscar Merlin | February 5th, 2009 at 8:41 am
That was an interesting post. I am glad that you were able to be open towards accepting other cultures. And, just becuase you lived in a small town doesn’t mean that you cann’t get to know people from different walks of life. I lived in a city for my entire life, and have seen people from time to time who haven’t explored any other culture outside of their own. Living in city hasn’t been really helpful for them because they were not open towards accepting different ways of life other then their own.
So, travel, travel, travel, like Dr. Whiteker says. That way, your shoe box can keep geting bigger and bigger as time goes on.
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